Thank you for your willingness to share your struggle about your disrespectful thoughts toward God and the Holy Spirit.
I John 1:9 states that if a person confesses his/her sin to God, that God is faithful and just to forgive that person of one’s sins and even the sins that one is not aware of committing in his/her life. Genuine repentance is required from the heart.
The deeper question for you is what has caused/prompt you to disrespect God in your life. What was the event that brought about this change of attitude toward God. Being honest with oneself, however, painful it may be is to face/recognize it. Was it something that you do to others or did someone did something to you? Were you so angry that you blame God for your problem or you felt helpless in your circumstances? In our pain, one may say things out of frustration. It can be a cry for help,,
Whatever the circumstances that caused you to have that rebellious attitude and action, may I encourage you to find a quiet place without the noise and interruption of people or technology, just you and God. Talk to him. He promised never to leave nor forsake you. He is offended by your comments, but a person who truly repents God will forgive that person.
SUMMARY: God forgives his child if one is repentant. Don’t forget God looks at the heart, not just hear the words.
For further perspectives and insight: