Thank you for the question on not forsaking meeting together, “I’m told the Bible says not to forsake meeting together. Does the Bible allow for common sense if you know the people are unkind, judgmental, devious, and toxic to your soul?”
Hebrews 10:24–25 says this, “24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (NIV).
This verse should be one of the most comforting verses for you. Yes, there are those judgmental believes who views things from the outward appearance. They may judge a person based on the style of clothing one wears, their personal grooming style, or even the language their use.
Don’t let others deter you from worshiping the Lord. You didn’t come to see them, but to meet with the Lord. Here’s are the various responses that one can have with them:
- Ignore those believers.
- Pray for those believers and forgive them for their judgmental attitude.
- Confront those believers for their judgmental attitude.
- Blast those believers by adopting their judgmental attitude.
- Avoiding churches/believers for their judgmental attitude.
As a pastor, I had this one believer who didn’t quite “fit” into our group. He wore leather jacket and leather pants. His hairstyle was different and he had a different view on life. He’ll come in late and usually sat toward the back of the church service. He was an artist while most of the members were professional people. I can tell that parents didn’t want him to be a “negative” influence on their sons and daughters nor want him to date their daughter. People felt uncomfortable with him.
I spent time with this brother. I befriended him and I didn’t ask him to change his appearance for me or for the Church. That’s him and I accept him as he was. He wasn’t rude or mean. He’s very creative in his drawing. He was comforted to know that his pastor accepted him even though others wonder about his “spirituality.”
Find others who accept you for who you are. That’s when you really know who your friends are. If they can spend time with you, share with you, have lunch or dinner with you, then you have truly found great friends. They are not embarrassed by being with you and they should be at all.
The writer of Hebrews encourages you that one day each person will stand before the Lord and give an account of how his/her treatment to a fellow brother and sister in the Lord. They will not “getaway” with their judgmental attitude toward you or to others before the Lord. It should be our prayer that God will convict them that they are not loving others as Christ loved them when they were sinners. Forgive them and do be in bondage to their comments. The only comment that really counts at the end is the Lord’s comment to you.
On the flip side, one must also consider this question, “Am I giving others around me a reason to dislike me?” For we, too, must give an account of our own actions and words.
I oppose conformity to outward appearances as the standard for acceptance of others, but encourage inward Christ-likeness among believers. God looks at the heart and we must be careful not to judge someone strictly on the bases of an outward appearance.
Don’t hate them, but don’t be like them. Have compassion on them. If they are toxic, avoid being part of their group. You can still be nice to them without being like them.
SUMMARY: Don’t let others dictate your response in wanting to worship and wanting to know more about the Lord. Fix your eyes on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of your faith and not on them.