III. The Journey of Sight rather than by Faith
Chapter 1: Seeing and Wanting More
I grew up being poor and living in poverty. Seeing others having more than my parents or even myself, I wanted more than what my parent’s had in life. Seeing my peers’ upward mobility in life, purchasing their first car and home, I wanted those things for myself too. I didn’t want to live in poverty, I wanted more.
Ramona’s parents graciously agreed to let us live in their home. Downstairs, towards the back of the garage we were able to live in a partially completed in-law unit. It was a large open space with a full kitchen and a full bath. But it wasn’t finished as it just had bare sheetrock on the ceiling and some lightbulbs without the fixtures. There were no walls separating the rooms except two curtains. There was only one small window by the back door to the yard. It felt cold and dark.
This reminded me of growing up on Joice Street in Chinatown. I thought about how to fix the basement for us, but I didn’t have carpentry, electrical, nor plumbing skills. Seeing the potential of that place and what my brother-in-law did to install the kitchen cabinets and bathroom for us, I thought this was something that I can learn and do. I wanted a better place for Ramona and me.
In my senior year at the Bible School, I knew that I had to learn to drive. John Wong taught me how to drive a stick shift car in the city. I was able to receive my driver’s permit before I graduated. I heard how beautiful it was in Vancouver, BC and Busch Gardens. We decided for our honeymoon to drive up from San Francisco to Vancouver, BC. We couldn’t afford to fly, but we could drive! I drove with my student permit and that made Ramona very tense and nervous. While we were driving through Portland, Oregon we purchased our first framed artwork. It was a picture of 100 Chinese birds. This purchase began my journey of wanting more things for our home and driving home with them.
Four months later, we were surprised. Ramona was pregnant! Life changed for us as we began preparing for our baby. The church family had a wonderful baby shower for us. We purchased our first baby crib and set it up in our unit. She was born in July 1974 at Kaiser Hospital. We named her Kristine in keeping with the tradition of all my sibling brothers’ name began with the letter K. Watching her being born was so precious. I felt so privileged as the obstetrician handed this tiny baby into my hand. So small and so cute. It was a moment of emotional bonding. The doctor then handed her to Ramona and lay her on her stomach. It was a very touching moment for me. Before this, I have never held a baby before, this was such a dear first experience for me. I saw a newborn baby, my child coming into this world. After this experience, we wanted two more children.
I soon realized that I had to find a full-time job, but I had no skills. Some of my friends began working for the telephone company as clerks or engineers. I applied for a temporary position as a Compilation Clerk. As that project was near completion, my manager was very kind and helped me transfer to an Office Clerk position. This office tracked the salary of manager’s promotions and merits. I saw how much those individuals made each month. When I saw the salaries of the engineers and managers, I wanted more financial income and security for my family.
After living two years in my father-in-law’s downstairs unit, I wanted something more for Ramona and our daughter. Living where we were at wasn’t satisfying for me or for my family. It was livable, but to me, it wasn’t living. From the things I saw and experienced, I knew there was more, and I wanted better for my family. Sadly, I saw and heard the critical and harsh words that my father-in-law would say to his wife. Kindness and affection weren’t displayed by him, nor was gratitude. She cooked every single meal from him, cleaned and maintained the home and even worked side by side with him at the grocery store seven days a week and not one kind word in return from him. I admired her gracious and loving spirit. I wished that I had a mother like her growing up. Seeing my own mother with that same critical spirit and demeaning words to my brothers and me, hurt so bad. For my mother and father-in-law, they were seemingly never satisfied. Whether consciously or subconsciously, I knew that living in San Francisco was unhealthy for us. We need to break away from the bondage of the past and start anew. We needed a new beginning.