Read John 11:28-35. Circle the words that stand out to you. What is the Lord saying to you?
28 After she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.” 29 When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. 30 Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. 31 When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there.
32 When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
33 When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. 34 “Where have you laid him?” he asked.
“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.
35 Jesus wept.
Digging Deeper
Tears are powerful expressions of one’s profound sadness and grief. It is saying what words can’t describe. When we see someone in deep sadness, we can either look stoically or shed tears of sympathy with them.
Many of us, including myself, are afraid to identify with another person’s emotion. We prefer to stay aloof and not become enmeshed with other people’s problems and feelings. Maybe for some of us, we are afraid that our own hidden feelings will surface.
Both Martha and Mary said the same words, but each of them had a different response to Lazarus’ death. The Scriptures do not record that Martha shed any tears before Jesus but Mary’s tears poured forth so much that the mourners felt her pain and lost. Jesus was not stoic to Mary’s feelings. I wonder if Martha shed any tears when she saw her sister, the people, and even Jesus’ weeping. How did the disciples respond when they saw all the tears falling down their friends’ cheeks? Were they moved to their own tears, or did they hold back their emotion?
Perhaps in our American culture, we are taught to be stoic, to be strong, to not cry at all. We rationalize, it’s emotionally upsetting to others. So, we stuff our feelings inside perhaps with a little sniffle or two but that’s it. No more.
Jesus wasn’t afraid to shed tears with Mary and the mourners even though He knew that He would raise Lazarus to back to life. As Christians, we are not to withhold our feelings for one another. We are to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice. But often times we don’t. It’s no wonder that many of us are “emotionally constipated,” if I may use that term. Keeping a strong and brave face in times of deep sorrow is wrong. Our grief is not without hope for we know that even in death, we will see our loved ones again in the Lord.
Ask yourself, when was the last time you truly mourned a loss in your own life? When was the last time you truly mourned with someone in their sorrow? At times, the tears that you show are so much more meaningful than the most eloquent of words to those who are suffering.
-Kingston