Thank you for the biblical question, “What was really Esau’s main crime that made God actually pronounce His resentment for him according to Mal 1:3 and Rom 9:13?”
The citation of Malachi 1:3 and Romans 9:13 declares that God loved Jacob but hate Esau. It seems unfair that God loved one over another as if Esau did something wrong that God hated him.
As I ponder this question, here is a thought for your consideration: Neither Jacob nor Esau deserved God’s loved, but his wrath.
The Scriptures declared that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God which included Jacob and Esau. Jacob wasn’t better than Esau. Jacob was conniving and deceiving in his life, while Esau was a man’s man who lived off the land. His anger against his brother is justified for cheating him even though he sold his birthright for a pot of stew. Thus the question was there anything in Jacob that merited God’s loved at birth? The answer is no. Did Esau do anything to “lose” God’s love at birth? The answer is no. Neither Jacob or Esau deserved God’s love at birth and both of them deserved God’s wrath at the end of their life except for the grace of God.
The Scriptures declare that God didn’t have to choose Jacob or Esau. He expressed his grace and love to one who didn’t deserve God’s grace. Yes, it was an “arbitrary” choice by God, but one must remember that Jacob was not better than Esau nor was Esau worse than Jacob. Both didn’t deserve God’s love and out of his grace, God extended his grace to one over another.
The particular reason why God chose Jacob over Esau is unknown to us. It is God’s choice, known only to him. Why did God chose some of us to be his children while other he didn’t chose them is like asking why would one adopt one orphan and not choose the orphan next to him or both of them. It is the prerogative of the person to adopt an orphan or not to adopt an orphan.
SUMMARY: Neither Esau and Jacob deserved God’s love for both sinned against God and deserved his wrath. One wonders why would God chose any of them at all to shower his love and grace on any of them! They don’t deserve it at all.
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