Read John 20:13-14. Circle the word(s) that stand out to you. What is the Lord saying to you?
13 They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?”
“They have taken my Lord away,” she said, “and I don’t know where they have put him.” 14 At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.
Reflections on the Word.
Have you seen someone crying and wonder, “Why”? Perhaps, it may be someone at work or at church. They may be having teary eyes, soft sobbing, or uncontrollable weeping. We perceive their anguish, but we wonder if we should say or do anything at all.
The angels saw Mary weeping. They asked Mary, “Women, why are you crying?” Did the angels asked that question because they didn’t know the reason why she was crying? Was it for Mary to verbalize the reason for her grief? Or, could it be that it was a mild rebuke that there was no reason for her overwhelming grief?
When we ask someone, “How are you…?”, it is for information, to gather the facts of their state of being. When we ask someone, “Why are you…?”, it is to give that person an opportunity to explain the reason or the cause of that feeling or action. It allows that person to verbalize their sadness or anger. Starting a question with “why” can be very helpful when we see someone in distress.
I imagine the tone of their question was not a demanding or criticizing tone but an inquiring one. It was not a harsh, but a gentle. It’s a tone that Mary understood that the angels genuinely wanted to know the reason for her tears. They wanted to know and help her address what was happening in this moment of her life.
When we ask someone, “Why are you…?”, should there an implication to offer help? I believe so. It’s not enough to know the reason for that person’s state distress or sadness. Listening to someone’s response requires a response. It would be horrible if we just listen to the why and then just turn around and walk away.
When you and I ask the question, “Why,” be sure to be prepare to follow-up with this question, “What can I do to help you?” That is truly being there for that person. It is entering into their emotional state, grieving, and maybe even weeping with them. It is giving a shoulder to support them, to give them a shoulder to cry on.
Next time, you sense someone is in distress or sadness. Don’t ignore that person. Take a moment to ask, “If I may ask, is there something wrong. Would you like to share that with me?” And if that person says, “Everything is ok,” then at least that person knows that someone cares for them. You have shown the love of Christ by reaching out to that person. Don’t forget when you engage a person, be prepare to ask, “What can I do to help you feel better or do for you?” They will remember your kindness.
-Kingston