I am sorry to hear that a friend of yours has a passing of her granddaughter. The grieve may be very deep depending on the relationship with her granddaughter and the circumstances of her passing.
May I suggest this for your consideration:
A. Reflect on your friendship with your friend.
The closeness of your friendship with her may affect how you will approach her and share with her. Is your friendship casual or a close friendship. By close friendship, i mean having contact with her weekly or bi-weekly.
It depends whether she shared that sad news with your or you heard it from another person. If you heard the news from her directly, then you are in her inner circle.
B. Reflect on their friendship, your acquaintances with her granddaughter.
If she has spoken about her granddaughter or she comes over to her home, then the relationship is close. The long will be more profound. It may be one of the few people who visited or care for her. This will leave her with a hole in her life. She will need you more than ever.
C. Reflect on the circumstances of the granddaughter’s death.
The cause or manner of death may mean anger and resentment to the family or the person who caused her death. If it was a overdose or suicide, the guilt and anger against others or even against herself for not “seeing” it or not “doing” something about it. Counseling may be needed later on.
If the death was a sudden one like in a car accident, family members didn’t get to say, “good-bye” to her. The lack of closure of resolving conflict or lack of saying, “I love you” may profoundly affect each person of the family. Another factor is the age of granddaughter who passed away. They may see that God or life is “unfair” to them.
Please be very sensitive on this topic of the circumstances but understanding this may help you on how to approach and comfort her.
D. Reflect on the religious believe of your friend, her parents and even the granddaughter.
Understanding one’s religious belief or lack of it will provide an avenue in approaching and comforting them. If she was a Christian, the grief is still there, but the hope of a future resurrection may give a degree of comfort and hope for the family members.
Your personal belief will also affect how you will approach them. Please be careful in sharing what one believes in an appropriate time and place. Don’t impose one’s belief on your friend. If your friend is asking question, you may attempt to answer them or refer her to a person who may better help.
-Kingston