Thank you for the question on forgiveness and justice, “The Old Testament says an eye for an eye, the New Testament says someone hits you on the left side of the face and gives him the right side, so how is that? How does it balance out? If someone hurts your family and remains unrepentant and unpunished.”
When someone inflict verbal or physical harm on another person, the immediate reaction is revenge. In the Old Testament, the Law allow for equal retribution or justice as an eye for an eye. The problem is not just the physical blow, but how does one measure the degree or depth of blow at the time of offense. The offended party’s retribution may be more severe than the original infliction of pain. As human beings, our tendency is giving more than what one received.
In Romans 12:17–21, it says this, “17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[d] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”[e] 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (NIV). Citations are in the NIV.
The Scriptures are not saying that Christians are to be a “doormat” for abuse. If someone is seeking to physical harm another person, Christians have the right to disarm that person. If a person is verbally abusive, Christians have the right to confront that hateful speech. I do not believe in enabling evil or sinful attitude or action.
As one reads The Letter to Theophilus which is called the Acts, the Apostle Paul at times accept imprisonment and beatings, but he also exerts his Roman citizenship that he has the right to be stand trial before being punished. This is even true in his trial before Pilate and King Agrippa.
Acts 16 says this, “35 When it was daylight, the magistrates sent their officers to the jailer with the order: “Release those men.” 36 The jailer told Paul, “The magistrates have ordered that you and Silas be released. Now you can leave. Go in peace.” 37 But Paul said to the officers: “They beat us publicly without a trial, even though we are Roman citizens, and threw us into prison. And now do they want to get rid of us quietly? No! Let them come themselves and escort us out.”38 The officers reported this to the magistrates, and when they heard that Paul and Silas were Roman citizens, they were alarmed. 39 They came to appease them and escorted them from the prison, requesting them to leave the city. 40 After Paul and Silas came out of the prison, they went to Lydia’s house, where they met with the brothers and sisters and encouraged them. Then they left.”
Acts 23 says this, “Paul looked straight at the Sanhedrin and said, “My brothers, I have fulfilled my duty to God in all good conscience to this day.” 2 At this the high priest Ananias ordered those standing near Paul to strike him on the mouth. 3 Then Paul said to him, “God will strike you, you whitewashed wall! You sit there to judge me according to the law, yet you yourself violate the law by commanding that I be struck!” 4 Those who were standing near Paul said, “How dare you insult God’s high priest!” 5 Paul replied, “Brothers, I did not realize that he was the high priest; for it is written: ‘Do not speak evil about the ruler of your people.’”
Here are some resolutions:
A. If the injustice is from the civil government, a Christian may or may not have a recourse to seek a trial before being imprisoned or punished. As citizens of a country, s/he may have civil rights and as a citizen one can appeal the fine or imprisonment. .
B. If the injustice is from a church member, then one has the right even the responsibility to confront that sinful action and to end that action (Matt. 18:15–20). The offended party may report that incident to the pastor or church leaders who should investigate the incident and render a judgment on the behavior. This comes under the section of Church Discipline.
C. If the injustice is from a family member and the church leaders fail to confront the behavior, then I believe one should seek legal means as filing a restraining order against a family member or non-family member.
D. If the offender is unrepentant, flippant, or a repeated offender, then boundaries must be drawn to protect/restrain the offender and oneself or family members. If that person is a “friend” , the boundary may be that he is not welcome into one’s home or to have any fellowship or relationship with him or her until that person repents. It is being cordial but one doesn’t have to continue that relationship.
The boundary or requirement for restoration of the broken relationship may include insisting that person goes to counseling. Loving our neighbor as ourselves doesn’t mean contributing or enabling his or her poor attitude or abusive action. That is actually unloving to allow that person to continue in one’s attitude or action.
As much as one may desire some form of revenge or retribution on that person, retaliating only harden each other positions and may increase the violence. De-escalation is the key word. The Apostle Paul suggests repaying that person with good instead of evil is the better approach.
Because a person is unrepentant at the moment, it doesn’t mean that the offender may one day be repentant. Even if one doesn’t received the apology or see justice on earth, one must entrust oneself to God. God holds believers and non-believers accountable for their attitude and actions. At the Bema Seat of Christ for believers and at the Great White Throne Judgment for non-believers, God will either rebuke the believer or condemn the non-believer. No one gets away with abusive behavior before God. God may withhold discipline or judgment at the moment. He does this so that the person may repent of his or her attitude or actions.
Please don’t misconstrue forgiveness is allowing abuse. No one has the right to abuse another person. Confrontation may be require to stop violent behavior or even subtle destructive behavior.
Summary: Christians do not condone evil attitudes or actions regardless of person being a family or non-family member. Salt and Light means exposure and restraining inappropriate attitudes or actions.
-Kingston