Thank you for the question on polygamy, “What is the chapter and verse of the New Testament that commands people against polygamous marriage?”
As one reads the Old Testament and the New Testament, one must remember that God gave his words or didn’t restrict his words through progressive revelation. In a very broad sense, God allowed polygamy because of the hardness of people’s heart and people’s desire. God allow polygamy in the case of the kinsmen redeemer (Exodus 25:5–10). God even permitted polygamy for the king (Deut. 17:17) which would infer that an Israelite can have more than one wife.
The allowance of polygamy is a right given to the Israelite. An Israelite may chose to exercise that right or to refrain from exercise that right of marrying another woman. In the case of Zechariah and Elizabeth, they chose to be faithful to each other without marrying another woman. Thus having that right doesn’t mean that one must exercise that right.
God states his plan for Adam and Eve and for humanity that the two shall become one (Genesis 2:20–25). In Geneses 4, we read about the first polygamous marriage. It says this, “9 Lamech married two women, one named Adah and the other Zillah…23 Lamech said to his wives, “Adah and Zillah, listen to me; wives of Lamech, hear my words. I have killed a man for wounding me, a young man for injuring me” (NIV). Lamech is from the line of Cain. It is likely the practice of polygamy became an acceptable practice among people and nations. It may have been used for political and or military alliance, even love and or lust.
Is there a definitive verse in the New Testament that states specifically that polygamy is prohibited for Christians? I would say there is no specific verse that states in the definite that polygamy is prohibited. I realize by my statement that this runs contrary to most Christian viewpoint. So to be clear, my viewpoint does not represent other Christians or churches. For non-Chrisians, the issue of polygamy, adultery or immorality is a irrelevant since since the rule of God doesn’t apply to them but their social norm. Does this mean that I advocate polygamy? My answer is no since that is not God’s plan for his people.
In Genesis 2 and in Ephesians 5, the Apostle Paul declares that as Christ loved the Church so the husband to love and cherish his wife. There is a call to faithfulness to her, the call to oneness. The idea of oneness is that no thing or person is to come in between the husband and the wife. Implied in that statement is that an introduction of another person into their relationship would intervene or even break the oneness between the husband and wife.
Ephesians 5 says this, “25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (NIV).
The inference in Ephesian 5 passages is that one is called to love his wife as himself and the two will become one flesh. The introduction of another woman/wife into that relationship may/will cause difficulties for the husband to be truly one to his wife and to be fully committed to her. The wife may also feel the same way since there is another woman/wife in his life. The harmony or oneness is difficulty to maintain in any triangle relationship whether one is married or not. The problem may be compounded if she wants to marry another husband and bring him into the household. The problem may become who is the father of that baby if there are two husbands and two wives having exchanged intimacy between them for they are all married together. For some individuals that may not matter at all as in the 60’s with free love for all.
Presently the perspective of polygamy is not widely accepted in the United States and that may change as adultery or immorality is seen as the “new” norm in our culture. It may be that one day that the “stigma” of immorality without the necessity of marriage may be accepted as part of the open society of morality. Prostitution is now more readily accepted so polygamy may not be too far behind. It’s no one’s business except those involved is the prevalent viewpoint. Even if one argues that one has the right for a polygamous marriage, it doesn’t mean that one should/ought to exercise it.
Christians hold a different perspective. The reflection of the loyal love of God to Israel, Christ to the Church and the husband to his wife is to be demonstrated in their faithfulness and commitment to each other. It is to be a singular focus loyal love.
SUMMARY: God’s ideal and plan is that a man marries one woman reflecting a singleness of oneness and whole hearted commitment to each other. The introduction of a third person into that relationship will hinder one’s oneness for there is a divided heart, soul, mind, and even body.
For additional perspectives: