Thank you for the question on Christ likeness, “What’s the point in going through struggles to be more like Christ when everyone has a different opinion on what that means?”
I am so sorry to read that you have experience such confusion and struggle about what it means to be Christ-like. Scripture declares as the Apostle Paul wrote that believers are to study the Scriptures so that they may be able to understand and interpret the Word correctly. II Timothy 2 says this, “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth” (A searchable online Bible in over 150 versions and 50 languages). Bible citations are from the New International Version.
May I suggest for you to read the Gospel of John and I John. The reason is that the Gospel of John describes how Jesus walked and talked with people. It is an account as if you were there with Jesus listening and seeing what was happening. Ask the Spirit of God to teach you and He will. The other reason for suggesting I John is that the Apostle John describes how a believer is to walk in this world. He describes the conduct of a believer in Jesus Christ. Begin with those two books. If you want to know what did Jesus taught the people, then read the Gospel of Matthew. As you read that Gospel keep in mind that he is writing to the Jews, not to Christians, that the Kingdom of God is near. There are applications for Christians but the address is to them.
Since as readers, we do not know what other Christians have said about being Christ-like it is difficult to comment on their understanding of Christ-likeness. None of us intend to be mean or accusatory that they are “wrong” in their understand of Jesus nor do we want to say that we have “the” answer to your question.
For your own study, here are some verses and thoughts on Christ-likeness means from one perspective:
A. God’s overall purpose IN our lives (Rom. 8:28–29).
The Apostle Paul writes in Rom. 8, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29 For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. 30 And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified” (NIV).
The Apostle John writes in I John 2, “We know that we have come to know him if we keep his commands. 4 Whoever says, “I know him,” but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person. 5 But if anyone obeys his word, love for God[a] is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: 6 Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did” (NIV).
Everything in our lives works toward one purpose-to be conformed to the image of his Son. That is the purpose of God IN our lives. There are things that God wants to do THROUGH our lives, but usually those things don’t happen until we begin to become more like Jesus.
Being Christ-like is not being like Jesus in his appearance. It is becoming more and more like his character. God created Adam and Eve in his own image and likeness. Because of their disobedience, the image was marred or lost depending on one’s viewpoint, but the point is that none of us were living in holiness and righteousness, but in sin. Jesus came to restore and renew the image of God in us. That restoration begins when one come to faith in Jesus Christ for salvation, not by join a church, being baptized, attending Christian meetings or praying/reading the Bible. Those activities may help us to learn more about the Bible, but by itself it does not transform us into the image of Jesus Christ.
B. God’s PROVISIONS for transformation to Christ-likeness.
I do not believe that a Christian can transform him/herself into the likeness of Christ by one’s own will or strength. The Christian life is a supernatural life and we need a supernatural power. That power is the Holy Spirit which God gave to us upon our belief in His Son as our personal Savior and Lord.
Jesus promised to his followers the coming of the Holy Spirit in John 14–16. Acts 2 shows that the Spirit came upon the believers on the Day of Pentecost. The Apostle Paul in his writings explains the work of the Holy Spirit in us.
One of the central books of the NT is Galatians, especially chapters 2 an 5 in which he describes the differences between a person living in the Spirit and living according to the Law or the flesh. This a great chapter to study.
It is not enough to define what it means to be Christ-like, but how does that transformation happens. It is surrendering one’s life to God (Rom. 12:1–2), realizing that one is dead to self and sin (Gal. 2), knowing that it is no longer I who live but Christ lives in me (Gal. 2), being filled with the Holy Spirit as I yield myself to God (Eph. 5). walking in the Truth and listening to the Spirit as He guides us (Gal. 5) which produces the fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5).
As you read the Gospel of John, look at how Jesus interacted with people, how he saw and responded to them. Out of the heart flows what is inside that person. Jesus showed the full extent of his love by going to the cross for us. It is not about how much one knows the Word of God, but how much one applies the Word of God in their lives.
I trust the above answer may spur you on to walking with Jesus and as you do, you will be transformed for you are looking unto Jesus the Author and Finisher of your faith, not on the pastor, parents, or even peers.
SUMMARY: Walk with Jesus each day and the Spirit of God will transform you into being more like Him.
For more perspectives: