Thank you for the question on parental authority, “My parents make me go to church but I’m an atheists. What do I do? I’ve told them I don’t want to go but they make me. I’m 14.”
You are not alone as many or most teenagers want their own independence and choices. Every teenager has rules that their parental rules for their home. One of the rules is taking off one’s shoe before entering the house. Can you imagine how many times one has to take off one’s pair of show during the week?
Part of social maturity is learning to respect others and to work with others. You are living in their home and they are providing for you. If you wish to become a renter in their home, then you can make your own rules, but for now see yourself as a guest in their home and accommodate them. At 18, you will be able to make your own choices as leaving home or join the military. Throughout life, there will always be people in authority “making” you do things that you don’t agree with. When you get your driver’s license, does it mean that just because you disagree with the DMV codes that you can drive at whatever speed you want. Of course not. Laws are there to protect others and oneself. I trust that you will show respect for your parents for they have the responsibility for your well-being both physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually.
Here’s are some ideas for one’s consideration:
A. Ask your parents politely why they are so insistent that you have to attend church. What is their purpose and reasons? What is it that they hope to accomplish by you attending church?
B. Ask your parents politely when or at what age can you make that decision to attend or not attend church?
C. Ask your parents politely if there is any compromise as every other week or once a month that you do not attend church.
D. Share with your parents what you will be doing if you are not going to church? Is it just playing games, hanging out with your friends? Are you going to do your homework, clean your room or what while they are gone? Parents wants to know whether you will be safe and make wise decision.
If something were to happen to you like falling down the stairs and injuring yourself, would you blame them for not “forcing” you to go to church? Would they feel guilty for “forcing” you to come for then you wouldn’t have been hurt? Who is responsible if you got hurt while they were at church?
E. Demonstrate responsibility at home without your parents having to tell you to do things. If you want to be an “adult” to make adult decisions, then demonstrate that you can be responsible for your own actions Do your own laundry, homework, helping with cooking or cleaning, getting yourself ready for school without your parents having to nag you or remind you of your chores. If you can show them that you are socially responsible, then perhaps they may give your more freedom in your choices.
Don’t forget at 18 which is only 4 years away, it is not a lifetime. You may even regret that you will leave for college for then everything is on you!
As to the religious beliefs of your parents, respect them for what they believe. If you say that you are an atheists, are you absolutely certain there is not God or is there a God? Have you done your due diligence by listening on debates or reading the pros and cons for the non-existence of God or the existence of God? What are your objections to the Bible and how do Christians address your concerns? You are establishing your life’s purpose and values.
As a Christian, I may share that it is not JUST ABOUT going to church. It is not about the rules that some churches impose on its members. It’s not about church attendance, reading the Bible or any of those things. It is about having a personal faith in Jesus Christ as one’s own personal Savior and Lord. It’s a belief that this Creator God loves you and me and that one can experience God in one’s own life. None of the Christian “activities” makes any sense if one doesn’t have a personal and living relationship with God. Jesus said, “I am The Way, The Truth, and The Life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” May I suggest reading the Gospel of John and pondering its message. If your heart is open, perhaps you too will discover the truth and depth of the Christian faith. If your conclusion is that there isn’t a God, then at least show respect for your parent’s belief and honor them by willingly go to church. For the shoe may be on the other foot that if your children want to go to church and you don’t, what will you do?
SUMMARY: It’s not about attending church services, but discovering more about the Creator God. Try to be at least to be open to that possibility.
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