Part IV: The Journey From Sight To Faith
Chapter 1: The Last Laugh!
I said to Ramona that if the Lord wanted me to be a pastor, He will have to open the door for me to be accepted in a seminary. However, deep down in my heart and mind, I thought to myself, “I am going to apply to the hardest seminary to get into and they will send me a denial letter!” And I did, Dallas Theological Seminary in Dallas, Texas.
I had to take the GRE. I laughed inwardly. If I didn’t do well on the SAT in high school, how in the world am I going to score really well on the GRE! Pastor Bruce Fong who graduated from Dallas Theological Seminary (DTS) shared with me that I had to score high on the GRE. They accepted the brightest and the most exceptional students in their seminary. I thought to myself, “I will never get accepted by DTS.”
I studied hard for the GRE and took the exam. My English score was average and my math score was below average. I thought to myself, “Dallas Theological Seminary won’t accept me with these scores! Now I can just be a lay-person in the church, enjoy our newly remodeled home and retire with AT&T!”
A few weeks later, I received a letter from Dallas Seminary. I remembered holding that letter in my hands. I wasn’t sure if I was excited or filled with dread as to what that letter would say. As I tore open that letter, I couldn’t believe my eyes. My jaw dropped to the ground. I was accepted for the Fall 1987! Why would they accept me? I didn’t score high on the GRE! I should have been rejected. I thought to myself, “Oh, No! God does want me to go to seminary and to be a pastor after all!”
Although I had all my insecurities and fears, God has allowed me to grow emotionally and spiritually over these past ten years. Ramona always believed that God called her to be a pastor’s wife. I was on the verge of four years or more in seminary. With that Letter of Acceptance in my hand from DTS, I knew without a doubt that God wanted me to attend Dallas Theological Seminary. He opened that door that I thought was impossible.
Now, the only question is if I would accept that invitation to attend Dallas Theological Seminary. There were so many reasons not to go. But I remembered my words of dedication and our writing in Ramona’s Bible of us submitting our lives to the Lord. Will I be a man of my word? Or, will I be a man of my own world? Deep down I knew that our lives were not our own, but His, to direct us in fulfilling His will. Together, my wife and I decided to accept that invitation and move to Dallas, Texas. That decision was my first step of this journey moving from sight to faith, from the comforts of Portland to unknown of Dallas and with it my fears of attending school again and my haunting past failures. My journey of faith has only just begun.